Thursday, November 12, 2015

The Perfect Family

If an average person peruses a place like Facebook, that person may look at all of the family photos and think, "Gosh, everyone's life is so perfect.  Look how clean and happy their children are.  Look at that nice house.  Another one of their kids received such-and-such an honor.  I wish we were that perfect."  And, I'll admit, I do it too.  I post our best pictures, show our most interesting outings, and brag about how well everyone is doing.

Case in point: we had our portraits taken last night.  It was a nightmare.  Not only were my youngest 4 children in attendance, but my parents too, aaaaaand my two dogs.  What could go wrong?  As I said, it was a nightmare.  My step-dad got frustrated trying to follow me in the dark through a city largely unfamiliar to both of us (thankfully I had a GPS); my lab, though 6 years old, is strong as an ox when he's not being gentle as a kitten and he was not thinking about kittens in the JCPenney parking lot.  My 11 year old with Down Syndrome was overstimulated by the action and the change in routine, especially with the dogs there.  My little dog was scared to death and digging her claws into my neck the whole time we were checking in, and shedding all over me.  You can imagine how the actual studio session was: the photographer appeared to not only have little experience photographing groups, but NO experience photographing special children, let alone dogs.  I brought dog treats that I referred to several times, which were ignored.  She had no squeaky toys or other visually stimulating toys in which to garner attention.  She allowed at LEAST 30 seconds between shots, which was 30 seconds of agony for all of us in our uncomfortable positions, and efforts at keeping the dogs looking cute and my 11 year old from staring at his hands and biting my shoulder.  Did I mention she kept softly singing, "Itsy, bitsy spider" for some reason?  I've never wanted to cry at a studio session as much as I did last night.  Was I completely INSANE for attempting this??

Still, I managed to find ONE decent photo out of the 12 to post to Facebook, because, of course, our family is so serene and worthy of admiration and emulation:


I basked in the comments and number of people who "liked" the photograph and felt pride at the perfection of my family.  

As time went on, though, and I had more opportunities to look at the JCP session photos and look at the 11 other duds which showed us in a MUCH more honest light, I had to own up, and ducking my head, posted the following picture, which is a good amalgam of the "other" pictures.  


I look like I need to sneeze.

The 11 year old is trying a little too hard to close his mouth, as he knows he is supposed to do whenever a camera is near.

The little dog looks scared to death.

My older son is trying to hang on to the lab as he makes a break for it, obviously going for the baggie of treats that the photographer ignored.

The little daughter is holding her Barbie in a "come hither" provocative pose.

As I look at this picture, I realize that THIS is a far better and more honest representation of my family than the former.  Perhaps, like many, I am a bit competitive on social media in trying to appear as if we are something that we are not.  I should try to post a few more of the "duds" and fewer of the "glossy" pictures, and show us in a bit more honest light.

Nahhhh.